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Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

Beau Carter

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Verbal Judo is a method of communication and negotiation that uses the principles of judo to achieve a win-win outcome. Just as in judo, the goal is to use your opponent's energy against them, rather than directly opposing them.

Verbal Judo was developed by George Thompson, a former FBI hostage negotiator. Thompson realized that the same principles that he used to negotiate with hostage takers could also be used to resolve conflicts and achieve agreement in everyday life.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

by Antony Felix

4.6 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	2788 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
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Print length	:	228 pages

The key to Verbal Judo is to understand the difference between assertiveness and aggression. Assertiveness is the ability to express your needs and desires in a clear and direct way, without being disrespectful or combative. Aggression, on the other hand, is the use of force or intimidation to get what you want.

When you are assertive, you are more likely to be heard and respected. When you are aggressive, you are more likely to create conflict and resistance.

Verbal Judo teaches you how to use assertive language and techniques to get what you want without resorting to aggression. Here are some of the key principles of Verbal Judo:

Use "I" statements. When you express your needs and desires, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This helps to avoid blaming the other person and makes it more likely that they will be receptive to what you have to say.
Focus on the positive. Instead of dwelling on the negative, focus on the positive aspects of the situation. This helps to create a more positive atmosphere and makes it more likely that you will be able to reach an agreement.
Be willing to compromise. No one gets everything they want all the time. Be willing to compromise and meet the other person halfway. This shows that you are willing to work together to find a solution that meets the needs of both parties.
Be respectful. Even if you disagree with the other person, be respectful of their opinion. This helps to create a more positive atmosphere and makes it more likely that you will be able to reach an agreement.

Verbal Judo is a powerful tool that can help you to resolve conflicts, achieve agreement, and build relationships. By following the principles of Verbal Judo, you can learn to communicate more effectively, negotiate more successfully, and create a more positive and productive environment.

Here are some examples of Verbal Judo in action:

Example 1: You are in a meeting with a colleague, and you disagree with their proposal. Instead of saying, "Your proposal is terrible," you could say, "I have some concerns about your proposal. I think it would be more effective if we made some changes."
Example 2: You are negotiating a contract with a client. The client is asking for a lower price than you are willing to accept. Instead of saying, "I can't give you a lower price," you could say, "I understand that you are looking for a lower price. I am willing to work with you to find a solution that meets the needs of both of us."
Example 3: You are having a conflict with a family member. Instead of blaming them for the conflict, you could say, "I am feeling hurt and frustrated by this situation. I would like to find a way to resolve this conflict so that we can have a more positive relationship."

Verbal Judo is not a magic bullet. It takes practice to learn how to use it effectively. However, if you are willing to put in the effort, Verbal Judo can help you to improve your communication skills, resolve conflicts more effectively, and build stronger relationships.

Verbal Judo is a powerful tool that can help you to achieve your goals without resorting to aggression. By following the principles of Verbal Judo, you can learn to communicate more effectively, negotiate more successfully, and create a more positive and productive environment.

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion

by Antony Felix

4.6 out of 5